Living in Japan and possessing a singing voice that warrants a stretch behind bars means that evenings out with colleagues or acquaintances can be fraught with danger. One simply never knows if (although sadly it’s usually when) the battle cry of “Lets go to karaoke!” will rear its ugly little head.
This spine chilling suggestion for the vocally challenged requires an immediate and effective escape plan. Perhaps a feigning of tiredness, or even a boldfaced lie involving family members, sickness, and an urgent need to return home. Basically anything will do, as long as it results in a night of karaoke crooning avoidance.
Such cowardice has thankfully served me well up to now, but the evil engineers at TASCAM have released the terrifying Karaoke Man on to a vapid and voracious market.
This innocent looking but malevolent device allows users to cut the vocals from any CD. Which combined with the supplied microphone creates a light and portable karaoke machine. A gadget that is destined to appear when least expected and even less desired.
This is a frightening prospect indeed, and one that will require a serious rethinking of evasive strategies. One possibility is the claim of a mysterious yet especially virulent throat condition. A disease so baffling that karaoke singing in any shape or form is liable to be fatal.
Rather extreme I admit, but these are troubling times for a westerner without the ability to warble.