Robotic relief

Electronic aids are nothing new in the Japanese home, with devices available for a variety of tasks – including entertaining children and caring for the elderly.

Some manufacturers, however, have decided to move away from such practical concerns, focusing much more on personal pleasure. This, erm, mechanical masturbator being a prime example.

japanese handjob

For frustrated fellas reticent to subject their genitalia to a rather severe looking synthetic squeeze, the appliance comes with other, slightly less alarming attachments.

Removal of the ‘hand’ for example allowing for straightforward insertion, with the machine kindly taking care of all necessary movements.

japanese masturbation

Such versatility making it a real a bargain at only 34,500 yen (170 pound). Comfortably beating the competition hands down.


  1. M0 says

    It also accommodates the EXTREME Masturbator with a vibrating butt plug (top pic) attached to a phone line incase you’d like to call someone.
    Give a HOLE new meaning to the slogan “Reach out and Touch someone!”

  2. Paul says

    Would you get arrested using it whilst driving and if not, is there an adaptor to plug it in the cigarette lighter?

  3. michael.... says

    And if you’ve had enough of a wank you can even make a cake mix….. what wanker thought of this….. LOL

  4. someone says

    What is that other part on picture 1 , with the cable .
    Is that a butt plug.

    Well i guesh then this machine is made for Gay

  5. Anton says

    You have to give there people a hand for being original. it’s hard to get a grip of how they even made such a thing! Amazing! What will they think of next…

  6. Los Vince says

    ok this is too much.. goddamn.. people are weirder every day. The world is going to hell.. >:(

  7. seasaw says

    Does this device come in either right or left handed models??? Us lefties have rights too you know…

  8. pookie dead says

    Speed controls? Range of motion controls? Does it simulate switching hands when tired? Does it lose a stroke, or is the transition smooth?

  9. Chris says

    I’m going to buy one and take it to the footie.
    Hold it up in front of the opposition.
    The ultimate insult.

    Also the butt plug extention can help stir my tea (those little white sticks just dont do the job)

    Is it avaliable on hire purchase?
    90 day satisfaction guarentee or your money back 😛 Haha.

    Although…the worst would have to be someone selling it second hand. Literally.

  10. TRTerror says

    jay snyder, your upgrade has now arrived….

    experience the pleasure of hand………pleasure.

  11. Snark says

    There once was a man named McQueen,
    Who invented a wanking machine.
    Convex for girls,
    Concave for boys,
    And attachments for those in-between!

  12. bob wondernut says

    There once was a man from Raceen
    Who invented a beat off machine
    Concave or convex
    It would suit either sex
    But oh what a mother to clean!

  13. Adriana says

    O rappael aki de manaus quer uma máquina dessa pois ele tá com a mão cheia de calo de tanto bater punheta >>>>>

  14. Arlindo says

    Que coisa fofa! O cara é duplamente masturbado enquanto assiste tv. Aquele vibrador de brinde é foda.

  15. Angel Of death says

    Ai Japoneses querem Pussy Lover’s venham aqui no Brazil…. aqui tem de montão e gostosas mesmo….

  16. nanpanman says

    OMG! this must be the new Nintendo Revolution I’ve been hearing about on the internets! o_0

  17. Big in Sweden says

    Shit… I Want one NOW ;).. Finally a toy for men that seems to work, and i hope it can mix drinks after it have done what it is made for..

  18. says

    Holy crap! That’s one amusing invention. Well, at least we know it might stem the AIDs epidemic if it becomes popular. IF. But then who would subject his sensitive family jewels to a machine? What if the machine goes crazy??

  19. Wank Boy says

    Yu tossers! You’ve put me out of a job, I used to give hand jobs for cash, how can that happen if you are creating these – these Robots to wank people!

    Thankyou VERY much !

  20. RSBNG says

    As long as it doesn’t bitch and complain what the heck! You don’t even have to take it out for a dinner and a movie!

  21. Brazilian Zueira says

    HA HA HA COISA DE JAPA QUE NÃO PEGA MUIÉ! Afinal, o piru da japaiada é microscópico! HA HA HA HA AH AHAHAHAH

  22. Asgard says

    Stop Punhetation;
    Fuck the Bucetation!!!

    [Metal Bucetation – Massacration]

    This sucks Mann!!
    I prefer the good and old Vagina! hehehehe

  23. Ptocomptobr says

    hua hua hua ! Falta lançarem a versão no tamanho para o brasileiro! E uma versão feminina para a Adriana, que ficou invejosa! Dá-lhe na DRI DRI!!!

  24. robert jefferson says

    carai de asa esses jap num tem mulhe fica inventando o PUNHETA 2000 i ainda é em tamanho ppp…

  25. Raymond says

    I wonder who tested these before it was released to the markets.

    That leads me to wonder, what happened to the people who first tried the prototypes. Overheating of the wires, causing burns?


  26. william clayton says

    I wonder if Pee Wee Herman will be the spoke person for it. The music could be its got the whole world in its hand

  27. Ricardo says

    Yo wazzap fockas I just bought that damn thing cause I just went to that shity country.. it actually works.. im telling ya

  28. cida moreira says

    o bobo jerferson , ja encomendou né?
    n é so japa q n pega ng, vcs são todos arames lisos so cerca e n pega nada
    ah eu sobrando kkkkkkkkkk
    aposto q após essa invensão definitivamente vcs serão mais preguiçosos

  29. Luis Rodriguez says

    Mi nombre es luis Rodriguez de Panama,
    En los años 80 vi en un suplemento japones que venia en la hustler de los primeros bosquejos de esta maravillosa maquina que ha cambiado mi vida. Ahora me siento completo, esto ha llenado un vacio que nadie me ha podido llenar o mejor dicho que yo no he podido llenar.
    Creo que cada hombre insatisfecho deberia tener uno en su cama, en el carro, en la oficina.
    simplemente quiero decir:
    GRACIAS MENS SOM!!! me has salvado la vida.

  30. carlos says

    Mi nombre es Carlos Barcenas, y también soy de Panama. Hace años me vi forzado a comprar un aparato masturbador femenino en forma de un voluptuoso Pene hombre africano para metermelo en la boca, ya que nada mas la abro para decir impertinencias, las que comunico también de forma escrita y por señas. Este desorden se desarrolló porque desde pequeño vivo en una burbuja plástica que me protege del oxígeno al que soy alérgico y ha resultado en daño permanente a mi cerebro, y a la vez me privó de toda capacitación para interactuar en sociedad. Me gusto tanto el aparato que ordené otro para metermelo por el hueco del pipi y zarandearme las piedras que tengo en los riñones, costumbre que adquirí desde niño. Lo recomiendo para todos.

  31. Luchinnis P. says

    En nombre del Asilo Matias Hernandez de Panama, quiero pedir disculpas a la comunidad masturbatoria cibernetica por la actividad de nuestros pacientes Luis “el Maletas” Rodriguez y Carlos “Burbujito” Barcenas. Estos dos fascinerosos fueron internados en el sistema psiquiatrico panameño hace años por adiccion a la pornografia y por una fijacion anal respectivamente. Como parte de un programa piloto en que se le daba a los internos uso de computadoras para que se convirtieran en miembros productivos de la sociedad, Maletas y Burbujito accidentalmente recibieron acceso al internet. Le quiero asegurar a la comunidad internacional que ambos lunaticos han sidos amarrados a un palo de mamon y fueteados con ramas de jobo, un innovador tratamiento desarrollado por nuestro fundador, el Dr. Z. De nuevo, pedimos disculpas por cualquier alarma que hayan causado susodichos pacientes.

  32. jam says

    OMg… thats awesome… that will fuck u up when ur driving tho… proly gonna make it illegal to drive with soon…. DUI style…

  33. Brian says

    I hope it’s dual voltage.Remember….on the 99th stroke the bloody thing broke and whipped his bollocks to cream :o(

  34. Bagao!! says

    Mas que porra é essa coisinha? não se parece com nada!! bando de escroto… não conseguem comer mulheres e ficam inventando essas merdas…

  35. says

    Holy shit Lee. This must be the most comments you’ve ever received…and it’s for a robotic handjob toy 😀

  36. Terry Coghlan says

    Hi, my name is terry, i would love to get my hands on one of these so me and my boys can get randy. I just cant wait to touch Luke Harpers small one. cya later guys!!! EWWWWW

  37. ricky says

    fuck wats happening with these japanese, dont u guys have chicks mates, fucking pepal r getting crazy, my hands know wat pressure i want this cud b real dangerous heheheheheheh but wont mind trying once.

  38. Daevid says

    What do you say if you get stopped in customs?

    I hear Dyson have an attachment that is better.

    Cymru am byth!

  39. el_punheta says


    Now i can use my mouse and masturbate at the same time!!
    Do u have any ideia how hard is to masturbate, use your mouse or just type only with the left hand?

  40. C Jones says

    £170 seems a bit steep, any chance of getting a demo? whats a hand job with out a hand job..

  41. mathew says

    i went to that product site and went to english but there is no order page does anyone know where i can go to order this machine…..

  42. DarthVal says

    What’s next? A 2.0 Version with USB / Bluetooth / Ethernet / Wi-Fi with force – I mean – Sexy Feedback(r)? Could they call it SexyPod(r)? Just plug it on a computer and recall your favorites settings like amplitude, frequency, rythm and so on. Or, go online and let your favorite Virtual Muse(r) do the job. Ah, don’t forget your headphones and your credit card!

  43. Vince Dazzler says

    Greeeeeeeat!!! Now all I need are some Viagra light! (they’re only for wankers)

  44. George W. Bush says

    What a great product! Just a shame I have such a small dick and and am too stupid to know how to place an order.

    Oh well, back to screwing America.

  45. says

    We stock two of the SOM machines, we opted for the petit Som for men, it has a better mechanism and a gripping latex sleeve, rather than the un-hand like hand! It is a super little machine offering a smooth pumping action – typically Japanses I suppose you would say, SOM is to sex toys what Honda is to cars!
    So far we have sold many more of the Ladys SOM, they are the ultimate sex machine. We haven’t yet been able to ascertain whether it is sole women buying the machine to use for solo play, or if men are buying them for their women so they watch… does bring up a whole new range of possibilities and we had one couple who bought one so they both incoroperate it into their lovemaking – almost like a threesome. Bit of a language barrier though so if anyone writes fluent Japanese please e mail me, I have real trouble communicating with them!

  46. josh says

    that sounds like a fun little toy why hasnt anyone thought of this before. Finally no more babys!

  47. Dave says

    Some say the inventor or sort of idea director was a woman…can you believe that? i’m afraid that someday woman might be more powerful than us and i’m pretty sure all men’s weakness IS woman….yikes

  48. Paul Haggath says

    I’m buying mine this week, i’ve already emailed my boss for the week off! I can’t wait to get my hands on this, all for a bargain £170

  49. says



  50. tori says

    They should make the hand look more feminine, give it a manicure and maybe a wedding ring. If I was a strait man I think I’d find it unappealing to have a manly-looking hand wank me off, no? Or it could come with man and woman hands, for those who prefer men o.O;

  51. Noah says

    Well I think this is pretty good. Considering there are a lot of men out there that have lost their hands and arms that could use a device like this. I ordered one for my friend that lost both hands in a farming accident. This is ideal for people that need help in this area.

  52. vk says

    Hell I’ll try it! Now whenever my girl wants to be stingy…I’ll pull it out. LOL

  53. luke says

    Surely they can do better than that,it looks real cheap. What about a full human size pleasure robot that talks .That will sell.

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