Japanese hands-free help

For the man in Japan who’s had enough of his own handy work but is unable to palm the job off on to somebody else, there are thankfully a few alternatives.

For starters, there’s the almost infamous robotic reliever, but at 34,500 yen (336 dollars), it doesn’t, so to speak, come cheap.

Thankfully though, for the fella who doesn’t want to give his budget, or indeed his old boy, a severe pounding, help is at hand in the more compact form of Tenga — still a fairly fancy form of relief, but with a far more affordable fee of around 1,000 yen (10 dollars) a pop. Not a bad price considering that technology wise the Tenga is probably more advanced than its more mechanical cousin, and with all the innovations on the inside, it’s simply a case of sitting back and making a simple insertion or two.

Japanese masturbation machine Tenga

Also, like any Japanese products worth their salt, there are cute characters to represent the range, all the way from soft, to hard,

Japanese masturbation machine Tenga

along with a couple of rather comical commercials, that, considering the content, are way too dodgy for the workplace.

There’s this one for the, erm, Deep Throat Cup,

and another that was designed for the debut of the Black and White.

Finally, for the person tempted to invite their mate round for a tipple and the try of a Tenga, there’s always the option of the Double Hole Cup,

Japanese masturbation machine Tenga

which tenders a whole new interpretation to the term ‘two’s-up’.

Japanese masturbation machine Tenga


  1. shinobi says

    HAHA 😀
    I love their intensity scale. Reuqires a minimum of brainpower when you want to jump right into things without reading those pesky instructions

  2. says

    Um, I’m not sure if I’m missing something here, but how exactly do you use both sides at once? And if it’s the way I’m thinking, it’s not the sort of “threesome” I’d want to participate in!

  3. Ted says

    I totaly agree Brett. If a friend got one of those out, I’d be straight out of the door!!

  4. says

    A bartender in a “gaijin hangout” that I go to once in a while discovered this in Don Quixote and much merriment was had putting the product to not-quite-its-intended use. Suffice it to say that many an empty beer bottle got lucky that night!

    The next day, their website — the Japanese version and the English one — provided lots of amusement about the office…

  5. says

    A threesome!? So, two dudes get together and decide to fuck this thing and image they are in a threesome and giving some gal a DP. Well, whatever floats their boat.

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